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"I don’t remember ordering this, but past me clearly had great taste."

- Impulse Buyer, No Regrets ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Did this shirt change my life? No. But it did make me more confident in my terrible decisions."

- Chaos Certified ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"My dice have only rolled nat 20s since wearing this. Could be coincidence. Probably not."

- Statistics Denier, Believer in Fate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Secret Forge tee

Moxie CHOMP! tee

$24.99 USD

Only, 0 items are in stock!

We could have printed this on a priceless tapestry, but cotton felt more practical.

Moxie CHOMP! – The Tee for the Real Ones For those who’ve been here since The Cactus Caper, this one’s for you.

🔥 Secret Society exclusive—get yours before it’s gone.

Shipping Policy:

  • We ship to all locations within the United States and internationally.
  • Orders are typically processed and shipped within 2-3 business days.
  • Shipping rates will vary based on the size and weight of the item(s) and the destination.
  • Expedited shipping options are available for an additional cost.

We stand by every thread on out tees. If there are any issues with your order upon arrival we’ll make it right—whether that’s a replacement or refund.

Just reach out to us with a photo of the issue and your order details, and we’ll get you sorted.

No hassle. No nonsense. Just gear that lives up to the legend!

  • Michelangelo had the Sistine Chapel. We have this shirt
  • Move over Mona Lisa
  • A garment so refined even your dice will roll higher.

"I don’t remember ordering this, but past me clearly had great taste."

- Impulse Buyer, No Regrets ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Did this shirt change my life? No. But it did make me more confident in my terrible decisions."

- Chaos Certified ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"My dice have only rolled nat 20s since wearing this. Could be coincidence. Probably not."

- Statistics Denier, Believer in Fate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Absolutely Unnecessary Product Features

Not a real button
100% Grass-Fed Pixels

– Ethically sourced from the finest digital pastures.

Zero Artificial Flavors

– Because you deserve an all-natural, organic drip.

Proven Existential Worth

– More valuable than at least one of your other t-shirts.

Recommended Products

drive additional sales and increase order values.

Moxie CHOMP! tee

Moxie CHOMP! tee

$24.99

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